I sat on our deck, with our tiny new and beautiful granddaughter Miley snug in my arms, As I rocked her to sleep, the fragrance of the lilac bush that drapes over the deck railing filled the air. The lilacs coming into full bloom is an annual reminder, as if we needed one, of our daughter’s passing.
Shauna, you’d be 40 this year. And while to us, you’ll be forever 14, this year especially we wish you were still with us. For one thing, you’d love meeting Miley – Miley Shauna Faye Matheson. You’d love her, and would certainly appreciate her name.
And there’s so much more you’d be involved in this year, like your baby brother’s wedding later this summer. Without a doubt you’d be joining your little sister and big brothers in the middle of celebrating that.
As I held Miley, before she fell asleep, she looked around and for the longest time stared into my eyes, I suppose wondering who or what I was. Staring into hers, it crossed my mind that she is an example of the circle of life. We lost our Shauna all those years ago, and will forever love, remember, and miss her. But now there is this brand-new little human representing a new generation of Matheson’s. It is an example of how life goes on, forever changing but in ways, also remaining the same. As even though the years continue to march on, we will pause this day, as we do every year on this date, visit her grave, remember what was, and lament what might have been. On this journey, if we learned one thing, it is this, and quoting here someone much more articulate than me, “Grief never ends. But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. It is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.”
Shauna Mary Catherine Matheson, February 13, 1983 – June 7, 1997
Always loved, sadly missed, forever remembered,
Dad, Mom, Quentin, Richard, Alex and Coleen.
Thanks for reading.
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